We all have that inner voice that narrates our lives, mulling over problems, rehearsing conversations, and making meaning out of our experiences. While this inner dialogue can be an incredibly useful tool, allowing us to plan, reason, and gain self-awareness, it also has a dark side that can hold us back and cause immense suffering.
This is the central idea behind the work of Ethan Kross, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan and author of the book “Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.” Kross makes a distinction between our productive inner voice and the toxic phenomenon he calls “chatter.”
What exactly is chatter? It’s that incessant stream of negative thoughts and self-talk that spirals into rumination, worry, catastrophizing and getting stuck on our problems rather than solving them. We’ve all been there – replaying an embarrassing moment over and over, imagining worst case scenarios about the future, or obsessing about criticisms and self-perceived shortcomings.
While our inner voice evolved to help us navigate the world through capacities like verbal working memory, mental simulation, self-control and creating autobiographical narratives, chatter hijacks these capabilities in unhealthy ways. Instead of using inner speech to plan ahead, we get trapped in anxious ruminations. Instead of objective self-reflection, we engage in harsh self-criticism.
The consequences of excessive chatter go far beyond an unpleasant mental environment. It makes it incredibly difficult to focus and be present. It creates friction in relationships as we ceaselessly rehash our problems with others rather than being an engaged listener. Chatter is associated with increased irritability, aggression, and even displaced anger towards those around us.
Perhaps most alarmingly, researchers have found clear links between chatter and poorer physical health outcomes. Persistent negative self-talk perpetuates stress arousal in the body well after a stressful event has passed. Over time, this chronic stress exposure increases risks of cardiovascular disease, chronic inflammation, and even some cancers.
With so many negative impacts, it’s clear that chatter represents one of the greatest psychological challenges of our inner experience. The good news, according to Kross, is that we aren’t powerless against our inner critic. His work explores evidence-based tools and techniques for “harnessing the voice inside our head.”
One promising approach is the use of rituals and habits to compensate for feeling out of control. When we’re entangled in chatter, we often feel at the mercy of our thoughts. Imposing small rituals and routines in our environment can restore a sense of order. Kross uses the example of Rafael Nadal, the tennis great who engages in a very specific ritual when taking a break during matches – sipping from two different water bottles and placing them precisely back at an angle to the court. This familiar sequence helps Nadal manage his inner chatter and recentre his focus.
Other universal strategies involve defusion techniques to distance ourselves from the chatter and view our thoughts as passing mental events rather than facts. Meditation practices, mindfulness, and focused breathing can all interrupt chatter and reinforce our ability to be an observer of our inner experience rather than enslaved by it.
However, Kross stresses that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The most effective way to deal with chatter is highly individual and depends on finding the right “toolkit” that resonates with our own experiences, environments and dispositions. An accountability partner, a new physical routine, or a distraction technique – the possibilities are vast.
Ultimately, the core message is that experiencing chatter is a universal part of the human condition, not a personal weakness or failing. For all of the gifts of self-awareness and interior monologue, we are all susceptible to the destructive tendencies of rumination and self-criticism. But we also all have the capacity to gain distance and perspective on that inner voice.
Rather than battling against our chatter or treating it as an enemy, the path forward is to develop strategies to harness and direct our inner voice as a force for good – for problem-solving, self-understanding and growth. With patience and commitment to finding the right techniques, that inner narrator can become our collaborative partner once again.